Gossips and hopes of wisdom

{Music. Parov Stelar – Coco}

you are

Knowledge expands your horizons. It changes the way you think, the way you see, the way you process. It is useful, helpful and enlightening. Yet, we are not taught to see or to understand. So many things, we are thought to ignore, to focus on unnecessary things. Has anyone noticed that you were silently aware of some things, but until someone sits you down and explain it to you in clear word, you don’t see it? I guess that is the main proof we only bother to use barely five percent of our brain.

I guess I was pretty naive as a child. I wasn’t so many around kids as I was around cartoons and toys. My parents friends often were people who travelled or seemed to be from another time, the time that was discussed deeper side of politics, art, philosophy, music, things that fueled a child’s imagination to unimaginable heights. I found it wonderful when they said to quote Shakespeare or said Socrates teachings. I wished to grow up, learn it all so I can discuss that, as well. Child’s imagination.

suzzy

As I said, people have a superpower of ignoring things they don’t want to face. So, I ignored many things, putting things in my perception until people and situations fitted it.

There are many stuff that I could discuss from that, but one thing I want to focus on is that became a bit clearer to me a few days ago, but I thought about for years on end. As a child I naively thought that only kids gossiped. Ridiculous, I know, but true nevertheless. And the reason for that in head was that children gossiped about one another simply because they had nothing better to discuss. Of course they are going to laugh about how someone who fell down in front of the whole school rather than relish in the wisdom of Aristotle because they simply didn’t know better. And, for a while, that explanation worked perfectly for me. At the time, I wasn’t so much aware of it as I am today. It was one of those silent explanation that you have about something and that you only realize later on when time has passed and you can see more clearly. You truly understand yourself and your actions more when something passed and not when you are in midst of it.

its

I found myself lonely back then because I desired for someone with whom I could share more than just what happened on Friday and who went to cinema with whom (to be clear, it was middle school so teenage stuff was just starting to reel its head). So, I turned to books. So many wonderful stories and so much to learn from them. I turned to movies and found magic created behind a glass surface, just a touch away. Turned towards my imagination and stories about Jesus. About his words of love and care and forgiveness towards everyone. Of course, once you discover how hypocritical people can be, especially in religions, those who claim that are virtues and yet are no better, the idea of standing besides them and listen to them turned very unappealing.

But, growth means learning and it was the change that shocked me as it happened. The first dream was shattered when I opened my eyes and ears and realised that grown people gossiped just as much as kids and about the same thing. Only difference was they could drink coffee, smoke cigarettes and say curse words freely. I felt so disappointed because all my dreams of being a sophisticated lady and discussing great words, were dashed away.

respecz

Than, another shock came when I realised how much my parents gossiped, as well. To be clear, they didn’t sound the same as the kids around me and my ability to ignore things that didn’t fit in the way that I saw things kicked in to protect my dreams about them. After accepting all that, I started to wonder more and more why people gossiped so much. One thing is to be a social person and to share stories. It is another to put another person down so that you can feel better about yourself. Because, let’s face it. That is the reason behind all that habit of gossiping. If someone screwed up more than you or the way they live life is decided to be worse than yours, you feel better about yourself and your way of living. We wouldn’t actually be happy if everybody was content and perfect, not with this current mindset. And we are taught to have this mindset. What else is the magazines and tv talk shows and dozens of other things, than a global gossip network that teaches us how to act and what to talk about? And most often than not, they have a nasty thing to say about someone rather than a good one.

{Music. The Neighbourhood – Alleyways}

Constant negativity and nastiness is tiring for me. And what is worse, it is hard to meet positive people. Truly positive ones that are realistic, but don’t immediately jump on what could go wrong than rather think about how could it be good. I want to be positive and I try not to be pulled into depressive, monotone way of living that so many live by, but it is not easy to resist the habit and the majority. So many people prefer to be a victim rather than a master of its fate. I am trying to learn to take the control back, to learn a new way rather than just blame everyone around me and mope in misery and say how everybody is terrible to me. They are not. Cuz, their thoughts and words don’t control or define me yet we all act as if they do. And we act as if our opinion is going to change somebody.

joystealers

I wish to sit with someone and not talk about anybody else or have them complain about that or another because everybody knows that those problems will not be half as important a year from now on and instead just share funny stories or thoughts and laugh at silliness and feel better about life rather than worse. I had that with maybe, three persons, at most in my whole life. Two people with whom that happened on more than one occasion and it was wonderful to experience and have.

{Music. Jetta – I’d Love to Change the World}

I wonder if you today had a good laugh and felt better or groaned and started talking how somebody did something that annoyed you so much. What makes you feel better, in the end? Do you want to look back at your life and realize you spent it discussing about someone and something that nobody made feel better or taught you anything. A waste of time and as such, a waste of life.

I feel lucky and blessed when I can find someone to talk about things that genuinly interest me and that aren’t connected to discussing someone elses way of life. I think I feel better now in my life. I am starting to realize things and it requires change because, as I said, when you learn something new, it will change things, and I am trying to make the best of it. Trying to make a path that doesn’t follow the same mainstream of everybody else. And, I suppose both you and I will see how it goes.

Maybe this was inspiring to you and if so, I am glad. If not, well, too bad.

Lots of love,

Elly

P.S. I dare you to buy a flower and give it to someone who you gossip about the most on your coffee breaks and see how it goes.

healthy mind

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