Staring once again in this weird Wonderland

{Music. Epic music}


I know I haven’t been keeping my blog as I imagined. Shameful, I am aware. But, I wish to start again, to share. One of the reasons why I haven’t posted anything is because I got lost in my head considering the question, what on earth can I share that might be so important for others to read? Why bother? But than today I thought, nothing came from not bothering anyways. What can you lose in the end? I will either listen to music or write a post, it is not like I am going to do anything really productive either way, so here I am again.

Many changes happened lately though I didn’t expect them or planned them. I started working at a small theater as a volunteer to see if I am interested in that kind of lifestyle. Turns out I would love to try to be a director. I like how things are dictated and how you decided where everything goes. Your design coming to life the way you want it. So, it seems that I finally have some sense of where I would like to go down the end of this rabbit hole. For now, I am first learning everything that I can.

I also dyed my hair pink.

medarlingIt washed off mostly by now since it is not a permanent paint, but it was so nice to see it like that, to stand out even though people stare. It showed me something, something that I used to hide a lot as a teen because you don’t want to be mocked at, but now who gives a damn? I certainly just want to live my wonderland dream. I started realising how much I am bored by the same old mundane things that I have been seeing my whole life. I couldn’t look at the long dark, blond hair anymore no matter how pretty it may be to others. For me it was boring, seen already on countless other heads. So, I bought the paint and colored the bathroom pink and purple along with the water that ran down the drain. I felt like I was discovering myself anew. It is almost seems that the moment you were born you forgot who you really are in this life and as you grow, you start finding yourself piece by piece. I am not saying I will have pink hair for the rest of my life. It damages hair way too much for my comfort (especially long hair), but simply what she represents is what makes her important. Something vibrant, something different, new, unusual. Something that stands out. Something that I see in myself and that now I want others to start to see as well – my style.

Also, with that I realised how much I silently cried out for new things, new experiences, new people. Travelling, I discovered, is the answer. I am finishing a course of graphic design in the June and then I am hopefully off to see the world on my own. I am taking you all with me, to see how much I can survive with only a smart phone, clothes and some money in my pocket.

They say such experiences changes you, makes you realise all that you can be and do. I wish to see that in myself, to experience that change and find that knowledge.

I hope you are all finding new things about you every day. Wouldn’t it be great if we, like children, are carefree and our soul purpose is enjoying and learning life every single day whatever may it be?

This, I suppose is just a small entry at the start of the new chapter.

Lots of love


2 thoughts on “Staring once again in this weird Wonderland

    1. Yeah, exactly. The only part I don’t like is the stage before that. Often something must happen for me or I guess, anybody, to realize something new. And sometimes that period can be very confusing and troubling. But it is wonderful to finally find a way again as you said.
      As do I :*
      Thanks for reading

      Liked by 1 person

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