Evil is not born, it’s made

I know it’s been long and there are no excuses, but life is strange and unpredictable and takes you in directions you didn’t plan to have, destroying your plans and side tracking your ways. Hopefully, the wind will blow more into the direction of blogging than it did this past few days.

{Music. Palladio by Escala}

quote

Lately, I have been examining changes that happen to us as we live. Soon I will turn twenty which I still marvel since I feel like a child and not an adult. Someone who should stay eighteen for a while not search for life decisions and tumble them in her head.

That matter aside and put for another time and post, it was pointed out to me that I lack a certain perception of how rare naivety and innocence in people is and how that might screw me later in life, something about always seeing the best in people first. I failed to point out to that person that I rarely get involved deep enough in any human interaction for them to create a mess in my head. That is to say, I rarely pay enough time and attention for other’s to have any leverage over me in such way.

But, it got me thinking about it. About life and how, with time, in a certain way, innocence is beaten out of us and we build a harsh armor that later we adopt in out personality. When a person smiles at you, it is natural to smile back. When someone looks at you with warmth in their eyes, it normal to melt a little in return. Yet, many of us kinda drove that natural reaction out of the door and invited the cold, calculative ways in our hearts which causes suspicion and ‘what does this person want’ reaction to someone’s unexpected smile and delight at having someone at back and call when you see how much someone wish to be in your company.

I watched my cousin the other day (he is eight) and in matters of minutes he met with other children and was running around, playing. By the end of the night, the kids were best friends, wrapped around each other and easily sharing hugs and laughs. So easy and simple, as life should be. But, we don’t do that, do we? Somewhere, somehow, in our transaction from a child to adult we were taught by others that there are demons in people rather than in te shadows of the night. And in fear, we prepared for battles that many never even came. We convince ourself it is alright to cheat and lie because everybody does that. to manipulate and twist because why not? And if you don’t do it, certainly someone will try to do that to you. quote1

I found that some people basically create chaos and problems from nothing and kinda force others to deal with it as well, as they adopt the role of being a victim. I have no answer as to why do they do it, but I’ve seen too many of them doing harmful things to others just because they can, because it makes them feel better, makes them feel something. And I don’t believe that such needs were born with them, but learned as they know it will get them the necessary attention they crave. quote5

No one thinks of the destruction they are causing and how they basically stop life. In the end, the best way to lose innocence and connection to life is to go against it. Many of us believe we are forced to become something harsh to survive in the world. Most of us lose it on purpose. But you don’t have to lose it so that you can survive the big bad human drama. you only need to be smarter and wiser in choosing your battles and people around you. And if life surprises you unexpectedly with catastrophy than find a way to preserve a spark of a child, not killing it further in desire to survive.

I find that naivety is a natural reaction to anything. And those who calls you naive in a bad sense have already lost it and haven’t found anything better to replace it with. In the end, anger and resentment tears you apart the most, not anybody else. The isolation and hatefulness creates more chaos than good and it brings nothing useful in your life. The judgment and criticism kills you more than you can imagine and people who cristise other’s criticises themselves the most. Imagine how empty their life is when make-up and masks comes off. qqqqqq

What I wanted to say is that, the armor everybody wishes on us doesn’t do any good in the end. If you wear it, it may protect your heart for a while, but it also kills it in the same time. And what is left of it just shapes into a parody of it causing even more harm to yourself and others.

Life is too short to be spent fighting instead of living. There are monsters in the world. But, there is also a small monster in every one of us – a fighter, a dark side capable of unexpected things. But it all depends on how much we let it take over and forget the other side of us, as well. Life is all about balance. And lately, people live extremely unbalanced life, focusing on one aspects and completely forgetting yin’s to yang’s. Focus on jobs, looks, sexuality, popularity, surviving and forgetting to explore, learn, be, love, living. I try to remember that every day. Question is how many people are even aware of such thoughts? quote7

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