Dreams of goals

Weed confession – I never really put it here that I tend to smoke from time to time. Mind you, my approach to it is either smoke for few days in a row, when I feel it  and then not smoke for a while. But, I tend to be like that with everyting in my life, so this is no suprise. I suppose I thought that people would feel against it and as such, wouldn’t wish to be part of this anymore, no matter how small it currently is. But, my conclusion about life right now is that honesty is the best policy.

The thing that I also found that weed can make my brain go in overdrive, thinking more deeply about things than really necessary for anyone who doesn’t like to complicate their lives. Me, for better or worse, do tend to do that. But, what I really wanted to share today is a short confession that I wrote that kinda describes my deeper current mindset which happened when I was high, thus he first paragraph.

I don’t wish to be succesful just,

I want to reach for the stars

Feel how it is to be a star

For she is made of what I am made of.

Not just see the wild waves and pass them through on my way to school

I want to feel them as I feel myself,

Totally and completely.

If that is not fullfilled, the ultimate happiness of living, how can I be happy?

Even if I have a success in business, the joy won’t be full because I would feel the emptiness

That only one with everything

remembering that I am a creator and planets,

birds and oak trees,

all that is, is me, as well.

Light and God,

One and everything.

That I am part of this energy that is everything and all.

It is the ultimate power, the ultimate truth.

And you truly know this,

And once you feel it and know by heart,

Then your conciousness and your mind will automatically know it, as well.

But, knowing intelectually is not all there is.

In fact, it is a lower level of knowing – learned theory, one that you may or may not apply in life and what use is that?

A level that you need, but is not enough.

However, it will happen on its own accord, you will know intelectually of itself if you know it first by feeling it, by breathing it, by living the truth.

Which is a joy to know, for now you can skip thousands of books

Who all tell you in the end the same truth.

Just live and be lived through,

Life wants to flow

Don’t stop it with fear spready by a mad society.

Let yourself live as a god on earth in a sense that what you think you become and that is ultimate godhood and so become true to your heritage.

Only that is the truth.

And only that matters.

We used to forget for we were playing and we wanted to take the play to the next level.

Now, we are stuck in this play for a moment of time.

And once we reach the truth again

We’ll probably want to forget again for it is the nature of play  and it is the only way that you can have the illusion of free will and free choice.

Only when you are cut of the whole, or better to say, your mind forgets it is part of the whole, can there be created an illusion of existence as a individual unit, Of self, of a personality that you use to function in this world of society and this form of existence.

But, once you remember, you go back to the universe level. You live and exist purely in the form of energy and there are no desires, no dreams, no past or future, only now.

And that’s why we like to play the game of forgetting.

After all, only in the game can we experience the ups and downs, joys and sorrows, in its illusionist form where everything can be created, from biggest peaks of humanity to worst tragedies that you can imagine and that makes all the fun in the world possible.

It is a bit reformed for the sake of better understanding for I wrote some sentences in the way that are not neither gramatically correct nor much understandable. However, this is something that occupies my mind a lot lately and hopefully, there are some individuals out there that think similary 🙂

Until next time,

Lots of love,

Eli

 

 

Princess’s dreams

A bird sang near the blue window. A song of the little throat was lessened, but not silenced by the clear surface of the window. It still reached the ears of Hayley, a little girl in her pink pajamas with small teddy bears that was sleeping in her bed located by the window.
It took about three days before a girl started to notice the constant song that played every morning and through out the day.

But, once she heard it, she heard it even when it was miles away.

The song made her think of adventures of flying to the castles built in the sky, made from marble and gold where white pegasus would take her to live and play. She told her mom of such dreams and her mom laughed good-naturedly. Wanting to teach her daughter kindness as well as some nice habits, every day for four days she showed Hayley how and where to put the food out for the little bird. Soon enough, just as mother predicted, the little girl started doing it on its own as a part of her morning routine. Brush your teeth, wash your face, comb your hair and put the food out for the little bird. Soon, not only did the little bird came into the habit of waiting for food, but it invited friends. Two, then three came until after a month, a dozen little creatures appeared to sing their songs together and then cheer in food offered to them.
Hayley’s love for them grew as did her imagination. The castle has grown in her mid and now it had a market place made from white marble and houses decorated wit fine stones in colors of green, red, blue and gold. People walked, danving and laughing, all of them fine princesses and princes as they walked in their fine clothes adored with diamonds and silver, their skin decorated with metal gold. At sunset, an orchestar would position itself in one of the squares and played free, live music for the people. The food was freely given and taken and everybody shared in their art, knowledge and care. Hayley flew to that place with every waking thought in her head, living there more often then on Earth, taken there by the song of birds and warmth of the Sun.

One fine autumn day, her and her dad took to working on the bird house in their backyard.  It was a small design at first, but changed quickly enough when they saw the amount of little friends that came to watch them work and offer their joy in form of a song. Hayley’s imagination grew as they built a bird house that resembled a white castle. She took to spreading her arms and running around the backyard they had as the chirp of birds followed her, dictating her dance and imagination.

However, soon, the weather turned cold, and birds started disappearing until only what was left was two little sparrows. It broke Hayley’s heart and the knowledge that they need to leave and shall return in spring didn’t mend it one bit.
She took to looking out of her window, dreaming of Sun and warmth, her birds and flying.
The snow fell, but it brought only so much joy before she was reminded of the loss of her birds and her joy diminished.
She prayed for the return of her birds every evening since they left and one clear night, where clouds moved aside to let moon and stars shine their light, she heard their chirping once again. Overjoyed, she skipped down the stairs, run out of the door and into the snow. And there, the birds flew chirping and flying and she laughed fully for the first time in months.
She started spinning in the circle, laughing, her face alight with joy and fresh flakes of a snow illuminated by  the moon.
The chirps grew into a Symphony of unheard music until then as the girl spooned. They flew up in the air and started dancing in the circle along with her, their song filling out the nights presence. She grew out of breath and she slowed down her spinning, turning only to see a miracle before her. Birds flew to the floor and builded up on one another, their song growing louder and louder until suddenly in less then a blink od the eye they melted together until a tall pegasus, in dark grey color with rainbow shine and silver hair stood before her.
Her eyes grew wide with wonder as she stared. The pegasus threw its lovely head about,  neighting softly. It struggled the ground with one hoof before walking slowly and turning.
Two little sparrows that have stayed were the only witnesses to the last sight of the little girl climbing onto pegasus back before they took to sky. No other witness have been present to see miracles of the clear winter night.

The Earth was left behind as they climbed through time and space into the new world of her imagination, created solely by her belief and thoughts, as if a song that took a solid form.

 

(To be continued…)

 

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Hope you enjoyed this,

Best of love

Elly

Airports beliefs

I feel the best when I am just going on a trip. I don’t like packing to be honest. All the thinking and rethinking, making it fit in one small suitcase is just terrible. But when you start to head to the airport… Well, now that is the other story. A sense of calm overcomes me every time, makes me feel centered and on point. Nothing can disturb me there no matter how chaotic it is. Cancellation flight, nervous people, rushing and ques. All is good then, i have no troubles with the world. It is the stagnation, the placement in one place all the time that makes me nervous, jittery and an absolute nightmare to deal with sometimes. At least I feel like that. All this people, so many of them and so different yet all with the same goal – of going somewhere else. It creates something wonderful, I believe. A certain specialness that is hard to top anywhere else. After all, the airport can be the happiest place on earth. Place where you reunite with family, old friends and lovers. Where you find new people and start on new journey’s. Quite a wonder to exist isn’t it? It is a place where you let go of the old to get to new point. Where new points become old ones and old ones new. It is this rediscovering process that when fully appreciated and consciously experienced, can be magical for your soul, body and mind.
I feel the best when I am just going on a trip. I don’t like packing to be honest. All the thinking and rethinking, making it fit in one small suitcase is just terrible. But when you start to head to the airport… Well, now that is the other story. A sense of calm overcomes me every time, makes me feel centered and on point. Nothing can disturb me there no matter how chaotic it is. Cancellation flight, nervous people, rushing and ques. All is good then, i have no troubles with the world. It is the stagnation, the placement in one place all the time that makes me nervous, jittery and an absolute nightmare to deal with sometimes. At least I feel like that. All this people, so many of them and so different yet all with the same goal – of going somewhere else. It creates something wonderful, I believe. A certain specialness that is hard to top anywhere else. After all, the airport can be the happiest place on earth. Place where you reunite with family, old friends and lovers. Where you find new people and start on new journey’s. Quite a wonder to exist isn’t it? It is a place where you let go of the old to get to new point. Where new points become old ones and old ones new. It is this rediscovering process that when fully appreciated and consciously experienced, can be magical for your soul, body and mind.

{Music. Kygo feat. Maty Noyes – Stay}

 

It’s strange how thoughts just start to follow one another. I never thought before much about romance and yet now, since coming to this magical place of London, people that I find beautiful and fascinating just keep popping up and they become gorgeous in my eyes the more I get to know them. Honestly, I don’t even know where to turn and focus, on which person to look at more. And they all equally deserve the same focus because they are all equally enchanting in their own ways. It is a hardship, but in a certain sweet kind of way if that makes sense.

Don’t know how much others experienced this transaction from one end to the other in their life, but it can be quite enlightening about what kind of person you can become and what you can do to make others happier and what kind of actions can make others sad.

But, it is actually disturbing when you realize how much we give up responsibility. Not gonna say give up control because if we really did give up control fully and enjoy whatever came to our life then it would be way easier and more fulfilling to live it. But, people always place the reason and the responsibility of their happiness on other people.

He is my boyfriend so he has to take care of me just the way I like it and I will be happy. If he doesn’t, I feel sad and that is his fault.

My mom didn’t congratulate me my birthday today so I am depressed.

My teacher didn’t praise me today so I will not study for her class anymore.

My friend didn’t text me back…

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One hundred and one reason of why you feel sad and then you place the blame on others like it is their job to make you happy. Every person is responsible for only one person and one person only – and that is itself.

Every other action taken to make someone else happy is considered a gift, not an obligation. And as such, should be valued whenever given and not angered or sad when not.

Why not? Simply because if you yourself first can’t make yourself happy than no one can make you happy, not truly. Because you will always depend on that person to make you happy and that is never a way of being happy for long. Then it is fleeting and usually brings more pain than pleasure.

Also, if you can’t be happy with yourself and expect others to make you happy, you are actually putting a horrible burden on others and even worse responsibility that nobody wants and they always leave in the end because it is an impossible task to fulfill.

I honestly think that many people approach relationships wrong. They approach usually with an illusion of what the person should be and is. As they meet they adjust their perspective one way or other. Expectations follow. I’ll be stereotypical here simply to make a point, not to make it seem as if it is truly like that. A girl wants flowers before every date, guys want sex after every date. If it is not fulfilled, they don’t like it and put the blame on the other significant.

That is no way to really go about because you will always end up disappointed in the end. No one can meet your expectations fully because no one can read your mind and no should actually. Everyone is their won person and what you expect is the extension of your persona and to expect someone to fill up all the check points is impossible to achieve.

But, love… Love can change all that. Just loving, not forcing or changing anything or anyone, just feeling that joy and love. Dance and sign with it. Work and create with it changes you and later on the world for the better.

After all, there is a reason for the saying love yourself first before you can love anybody else. Well, I am not sure that is really how it goes, but the point is the important one. Once you learn to enjoy yourself, you want need others to make you feel joy. But, sharing is caring and thus sharing your joy with someone familiar will just intensify it for the better and that makes a true relationship matter all the more.

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{Music. Eiffel 65 – Blue (KNY Factory Remix}

You would think the world is at fault with how much things can go wrong and how much we complain about it. But, since coming here, I became certain in two things in my life.

One – every situation that you find yourself in is defined by your way of looking into things and colouring them with your own perception, emotions and beliefs of life. So, if you are in a very bad position, it is due to your mind perception of a said situation. The situation simply is, if it is bad or not depends entirely on you. Because you will be the one who perceives it as it, so you can also change your perspectivness of it. So, basically, with enough flexibility and control to exercise it, you can change your surroundings simply by changing the way you look at them. Many people wish for happy feelings and when they feel uncomfortable or not completely content, they declare that situation bad.

Everything bad can become good. Same for good. Which brings me to my second conclusion.

Second thing is that if you are constantly failing at something or the things don’t work out the way you believed it should, the universe is simply giving you disguised directions. That way doesn’t work, try the other way, quite simple if you think about it. You just have to listen, pay attention to things that work out, the way you are doing something which in the end gives your result and then you will know which way and how to go. After all, you need to arrive somewhere and the energy that you put into something, even if it doesn’t work out, has to at one point come back to you. If you are starting a business or trying something new and it isn’t work out, it is alright. The effort you put into will be repaid in some ways later on. Simply because you toughened up through the difficult experience, it means that later on it will definitely be easier. It is a most known law of action and reaction. And the universe directs you in a bit of difficult way to the point where you need to go so that things become easier.

So, failure and the ability to adjust are your way of maturing to something better. It is all in the mind. So, if you control how the world around you can look, imagine how beautiful and magical you can make it happen. And what fun it is to actually play a game we call life. You just have to get up every day and start playing it and you won’t need this words to believe me, you will know it yourself.

Love and all the best in playing the game

Ellie

 

 

{Music. Avicii – Dear Boy}

A little poem for all those that dreamed of loves that never came to pass, but still love the memory of it.

And for those who did 😉

It took ten days for her to fall in love. It took ten seconds for her to fall out of it.

She liked his long eyelashes and sly curving smile. Liked the way he spoke and the mimics of his face.
What he strived for and what he dreamed off. Made her want more for herself as well.

He was two worlds in one and she never wanted more to uncover both of them as much as she did in those 10 days of her bliss.

Lack of laughs, contact and phone calls made it die away, like a flower in the wake of frozen rain, falling apart, turning into the dust until only the memory of the name remained.

But that’s alright, because in life, she learned, you sometimes need only few dreams to change you for the better and few seconds to wish yourself a better individual forever.

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Bella

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Always Something There to Remind Me.”

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{Music. Maitre Gims – Bella}

He sees her across the lavish restaurant. The music is live and guitar can be heard clearly amongst the other instruments and singing voices. Her skin is glowing under the lights, her hair waves of chocolate and her eyes big and light, enchanting when they meet his across the room.

Bella.

She moves like she is made of air and water, all smooth moves and light steps, graceful in her approach. His heart stutters when she smiles, enchanting him even more.

Bella.

He doesn’t remember how they meet, so pulled in her green eyes with speckles of gold he was. He doesn’t remember what he said, only her laugh, loud and honest. It sounds even sweeter later, when she laughs low against his ear as he holds her.

Bella.

He knew that they are dancing in the moments that come. He is never more grateful for having learned all the dances as the stumbling, young boy. Now, he is grateful he is no longer clumsy, so that he may follow this beauty with a grace of a swan across the dance room and reflecting lights.

Bella.

She was truly beautiful, with her smoky eyed make-up, lips painted red, enhancing the fullness of them and the whiteness of her teeth. Her hair done in perfect curls as they tumbled down her open back and mocca-colored skin sprinkled lightly with a perfume he came to associate with her.

Bella.

He thinks he loved her at the sight. He thinks it is possible. Even before he knew her little quirks and secrets. Even before he knew that she only loved apple pie as a dessert and refused any other sweets. That she loved spicy food and enjoyed the various cultures. That she loved to travel in a summer, but in winter liked to stay curled in her home. That she had six different laughs and he was still counting. Before he knew how beautiful she looked after taking the shower, all clean and fresh, natural in her grace and bare as she laid before him.

Bella.

He loved her since the first time he seen her and he never forgets how fitting the music accompanying their first gaze was.

Bella.

He thinks how lucky he is that she accepts him so, even his quiet demur where he smiles at her whenever she enters the room, but doesn’t know how to express his admiration and love so well in words as she does. But, he thinks that’s alright, because she always smiles with warmth in her eyes, making them shine when he leaves roses for her, makes her dinner or kisses her good morning. He thinks action is just as telling as words, if not more.

Bella.

He thinks that she is his Bella and he is finally breathing life since he met her.

It was just too sweet not to write though since I didn’t have a radio nor my set of headphones with me, I had to relay on my playlist on my phone and shuffle it. This came up and immediately the idea formed. Hope you like it.

Song is Maitre Gims – Bella if you missed the link at the beginning.

Love

Ellie

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