{Music. Eiffel 65 – Blue (KNY Factory Remix}

You would think the world is at fault with how much things can go wrong and how much we complain about it. But, since coming here, I became certain in two things in my life.

One – every situation that you find yourself in is defined by your way of looking into things and colouring them with your own perception, emotions and beliefs of life. So, if you are in a very bad position, it is due to your mind perception of a said situation. The situation simply is, if it is bad or not depends entirely on you. Because you will be the one who perceives it as it, so you can also change your perspectivness of it. So, basically, with enough flexibility and control to exercise it, you can change your surroundings simply by changing the way you look at them. Many people wish for happy feelings and when they feel uncomfortable or not completely content, they declare that situation bad.

Everything bad can become good. Same for good. Which brings me to my second conclusion.

Second thing is that if you are constantly failing at something or the things don’t work out the way you believed it should, the universe is simply giving you disguised directions. That way doesn’t work, try the other way, quite simple if you think about it. You just have to listen, pay attention to things that work out, the way you are doing something which in the end gives your result and then you will know which way and how to go. After all, you need to arrive somewhere and the energy that you put into something, even if it doesn’t work out, has to at one point come back to you. If you are starting a business or trying something new and it isn’t work out, it is alright. The effort you put into will be repaid in some ways later on. Simply because you toughened up through the difficult experience, it means that later on it will definitely be easier. It is a most known law of action and reaction. And the universe directs you in a bit of difficult way to the point where you need to go so that things become easier.

So, failure and the ability to adjust are your way of maturing to something better. It is all in the mind. So, if you control how the world around you can look, imagine how beautiful and magical you can make it happen. And what fun it is to actually play a game we call life. You just have to get up every day and start playing it and you won’t need this words to believe me, you will know it yourself.

Love and all the best in playing the game

Ellie

 

 

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London / a mix of thoughts

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London is a stunning mixture of old values and manners of thinking represented in a modern way of communication and functioning in the world. That is to say, it is a place where new things can grow while old ones remain – a balance rarely seen anywhere.

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Change here is not stopped or denied. It is taken in stride and adds up to the solid foundation of this lifestyle. I personally believe that the adaptivity is the most important thing in remaining a successful and wealthy in whichever form you wish to express it.
This has been a rather large cultural shock, as well, for someone who grew up in a different environment and mindset. It sits quite well with me what is happening here. People are approachable, helpful and kind to smile back to you which brings up motivation, a belief that people can be wonderful creatures if given a chance, freedom and kindness.

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War, I believe, has poisoned Croatia too much for it to come as easy as it does here. We are taught to complain, yet scarcely to do anything about it. To sigh, but not to get up on our feet and call for change. To occupy ourselves with petty gossip, but never ask right questions to our government.

It is a sad combination of turning a blind eye and willing yourself to a lazy creature of bitterness that we soon become.
The Britain is a different story. One I haven’t completely uncovered so I do not trust myself to speak about it untill I do.
The bottom line of this little post is that should you ever wish to see a functioning mechanism that results in power and achievement, go to London and the streets alone will show the country of kings and queens.

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Quote

Bella

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Always Something There to Remind Me.”

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{Music. Maitre Gims – Bella}

He sees her across the lavish restaurant. The music is live and guitar can be heard clearly amongst the other instruments and singing voices. Her skin is glowing under the lights, her hair waves of chocolate and her eyes big and light, enchanting when they meet his across the room.

Bella.

She moves like she is made of air and water, all smooth moves and light steps, graceful in her approach. His heart stutters when she smiles, enchanting him even more.

Bella.

He doesn’t remember how they meet, so pulled in her green eyes with speckles of gold he was. He doesn’t remember what he said, only her laugh, loud and honest. It sounds even sweeter later, when she laughs low against his ear as he holds her.

Bella.

He knew that they are dancing in the moments that come. He is never more grateful for having learned all the dances as the stumbling, young boy. Now, he is grateful he is no longer clumsy, so that he may follow this beauty with a grace of a swan across the dance room and reflecting lights.

Bella.

She was truly beautiful, with her smoky eyed make-up, lips painted red, enhancing the fullness of them and the whiteness of her teeth. Her hair done in perfect curls as they tumbled down her open back and mocca-colored skin sprinkled lightly with a perfume he came to associate with her.

Bella.

He thinks he loved her at the sight. He thinks it is possible. Even before he knew her little quirks and secrets. Even before he knew that she only loved apple pie as a dessert and refused any other sweets. That she loved spicy food and enjoyed the various cultures. That she loved to travel in a summer, but in winter liked to stay curled in her home. That she had six different laughs and he was still counting. Before he knew how beautiful she looked after taking the shower, all clean and fresh, natural in her grace and bare as she laid before him.

Bella.

He loved her since the first time he seen her and he never forgets how fitting the music accompanying their first gaze was.

Bella.

He thinks how lucky he is that she accepts him so, even his quiet demur where he smiles at her whenever she enters the room, but doesn’t know how to express his admiration and love so well in words as she does. But, he thinks that’s alright, because she always smiles with warmth in her eyes, making them shine when he leaves roses for her, makes her dinner or kisses her good morning. He thinks action is just as telling as words, if not more.

Bella.

He thinks that she is his Bella and he is finally breathing life since he met her.

It was just too sweet not to write though since I didn’t have a radio nor my set of headphones with me, I had to relay on my playlist on my phone and shuffle it. This came up and immediately the idea formed. Hope you like it.

Song is Maitre Gims – Bella if you missed the link at the beginning.

Love

Ellie

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A reminder of what we have

{Music. Ludovico Einaudi – Walk}

Air and water,

Fire and earth

Did you know that at the start of alchemy and thoughts about what the earth was made of, they thought that every element was made by the four of those. Each object was made of different combinations of four main, basic elements. Today, we know that every object is made of thousands elements and thus, the endless possibilities in our minds expanded to never-ending.

Gold and silver,

Diamonds and metals

So many elements there are, so many things that once you pay attention, you find magical and mystical in its appearance and its existence.

Mud – created from water and earth. Full of potential to help and heal.

Dust – air and earth in its beauty dances under the reflector of sun light, carrying secrets we have yet to interpret and understand.

Fog – fire and water, hiding and finding things, making everything look like the time of witching hour.

Molten lava – earth and fire, making fiery accessories across the surface of the Earth, slow and relentless, it shows how some things may come slow, but they will come, steadily and surely just like anything you do.

Stranger things did happen when air and fire collided, the power it could cause, so simple and light separated, they became a force to reckon once united.

Isn’t life beautiful in it never-ending circle or growth, creation, living and then gracefully dieing before being reborn in a new shape and joy? Sounds kinda romantic for just basic every day things, but I thinks that where the secret of life actually is. In finding the beauty over and over again in things you thought you see every day, but are different with every second.

Thoughts and free time can do wonders for your blog, you know. Just a little bit of something for all of you lovelies out there, finding time to click on this post.

Love

Ellie

A golden coin

{Music. Kygo – Firestone (& others)}

For a while, I had thoughts tumbling though my head of action and reaction. Everything you do kinda get’s back at you, and everything you do also affects others in different ways. Like waves in the oceans who glide and slide, overlap and emerge in a dance as they follow one another without a thought or conscious decision. You start one thing and it leads to a completely unexpected development. It inspired this little story here.

An older gentleman was walking down the square littered with stands filled with fresh vegetables and fruits. He came to buy his wife a bouquet of flowers as he did every Sunday for past 28 years. White lilacs, he chosen for today and wore them proudly in the crook of his arm, with a content smile on his face.

Passing a corner, he saw an elderly woman sitting on a floor, face creased in frowns and hand stretched out in an endless plea. Feeling specially inclined on that fine day, he took out a shiny golden coin and one lilac flower and gave them to the old woman with a smile peaking from his trimmed and shaped mustaches. His arm felt lighter without a large, bubbling lilac head and heart lighting up at the look of wonder and joy spreading through woman’s face making it for a slip of the second look young and child-like again, as the hooded eyes opened up in wonder, smile revealing a few missing teeth and forehead smoothing out from its saddened life struggles.

The golden coin twinkled through the leathery fingers. The gentleman tipped his hat and left. The flower withered away in a slip of the time. The coin travelled in a pocket of a dress until the woman felt hunger beyond tell and gave it in exchange of a hot meal and good night’s sleep.

The young, pimply out-of-school man slipped it in his pocket instead of the cash register. He took it home and played with it under the light’s lamp, admiring its unique shine, deciding one day he will have millions of coins like this starting immediately. The next day, as he hurried to work with new determination and plan, pushing through the hordes of people and city yells and shouts, the coin silently slipped from his pocket and flew through air in a graceful, but unseen arch and scattered around the feet of hurrying people. It finally settled once the morning rush subdued and in sudden calmness it’s light attracted a young woman’s eye. She picked it up and decided it is a sign. You see, that day she had a job interview that she wasn’t sure she wanted to even go to, purely for the reason of thinking she wasn’t adequate enough. The lucky coin gave her a sign to not, after all, change her mind and call her friend to spend the day moaning and whining away.

She shouldered her bag full with her art and portfolio and headed to a new possibility. She twisted and turned the lucky coin in her palm through the whole thing and when three days later, she got a phone call that she is accepted, kissed the coin and run down to the fountain at the small square on which her balcony looked over. With a wide smile she flicked it in the air and watched its descend into the clear water surrounded by marble and wished it to bring luck to somebody just as it did to her.

The coin happily shined along with others numberless coins at the bottom of the fountain.

Seconds or hours later, curious boy leaned over the edge and spied the golden coin. When his mother wasn’t looking, quickly as a kitten, he reached out and took it, mindful to take no other. Raising it towards the sky, his eyes sparkled at finding such treasure just like all those pirates did in stories his mama read him. He took it home with him, inspecting it every now and then, caressing the smooth flat surface with small engravement of a butterfly and caterpillar on the other.

It stayed with him until one day, a boy’s mother refused to buy him a new toy. Defiant ad angry at a such an abrupt and unexpected rejection, he stepped up to the counter, laying the toy and the coin with an angry pout. The cashier raised its eyebrows, but inspecting the coin, approved and wrapped the toy much to the child’s delight and mother’s confusion.

The coin shortly lived in a darkness of the register for the other time it opened, it was taken out for an exchange of a largely quota bill and given to smiling old grandma and was put in a small purse.

The old grandma had a granddaughter who she loved dearly and always gave her something at the end of her visit.

This visit she set her down and started her flow of wise and gentle words.

“My dear, whatever you do, do it with kindness and honest heart. Wherever you go, bring joy rather than sorrow. Accept change for it walks hand in hand with both life and death and it is their best friend. Learning is a gift to appreciate and sharing is a way of love. Love is a jewel when found demanding to be nourished and cherished with beautiful thoughts and small joys, not smothered by petty jealousies and resentments. Be strong, kind and positive for than beauty will fall through your eyes and your heart will heal others. Whatever you do, do it your best, even if you don’t like it. Wherever you go, go with open heart and understanding mind. Those, child, are the secrets to a wonderful life. And this is to remind you of that every day until it is engraved in foundations of your life.”, and she took the coin out and gave it to the young granddaughter with a smile. “My dear, love is all we got and a smile never hurted anybody.”

What if we all had a small coin that gleaned and reminded us of a joy that life can be?

With love and coins,

Ellie

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Old movies and new art

{Music. Parov Stelar – Catgroove}

Movies are a source of wonder for everybody. And every type of movie has its magic that captures us. But, also every period when each movie was made gave the special kinda feeling that is hard to repeat after that time has passed.

I found that I love old movies only recently. They are simpler and sophisticated, and there is something wonderful and beautiful in them. I admit, since English is my second language, I had a bit of difficultly to understand the old phrases in the beginning, but luckily for me and my reading obsession, the use of subtitles greatly helped (to be clear, it is english subtitles because I am a sadist and like to torture myself in nice, small ways)

Of course, you can’t watch old movies without encountering the stars of old Hollywood. And one of those stars is the elegant, graceful Audrey Hepburn.

Even my mother, who simply can’t watch most new movies since she never learned to actually watch a movie, found her to be a delight when she watched My Fair Lady. First time that I saw her on the screen was, of course, the classic – Breakfast at Tiffany’s. She blew my mind away to be honest.

Her elegance and beauty captured me. She reminded me of a doe which was further confirmed when I learned and saw she had a pet deer. It also inspired this art process. And since I am an artist, as much as a writer, I wanted to share one of little delights in my life.

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It is oil paint and it is the second time ever that I work with such technique so I think it came out pretty good. I think I did the sketch at least two dozen times, it was ridiculous in the end when I had more left overs from the eraser than an actual eraser.

For me personally, the beginning is always the hardest. When you have already some lines you kinda already know how to, where to follow, but on blank your eye kinda tricks you and makes you go an inch away, but enough to make a difference and for you to have to erase and try again. Now that I think about it, life is kinda similar, isn’t it? You need to make some lines before you find the good one. Make some decision to find out which decision suits you best.

Audrey was a delight to paint as much as her hair was a, pardon my uncouth language, a pain in the ass. But, I am glad to have done it. And, gosh, who knew that oil paint can take up to two weeks to dry completely? I certainly didn’t. Talk about a surprise when I found that out. And I was so excited with planing a trip to town to get it framed in some classy, chic frame and present it my mother.

It seems that once again something old inspired something new. Old movies, I think, will always remain a source of inspiration in ways that new ones never will be, at least never in the same way. But, that difference is a such a delight to have isn’t it? Something for everybody to lose themselves in.

I am happy to answer any questions about art and art making process if anybody is interested.

Until then,

have a lovely night (or day) wherever you are!

Love,

Ellie

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What is your life for?

{Music. Neon Hitch – Gucci Gucci}       

{Pictures – street artist Banksy}

When I was a child, I wanted to be many things. Now I realise those dreams were greatly influenced by television and people around me. I wanted to become a lawyer for I saw many movies with amazing and confident lawyers. I wanted to become assassin because it seemed like a such a free lifestyle with adventure as demonstrated by Mr. & Mrs. Smith.  I wanted to be an archeologist when I saw the Mummy. Wanted to be an explorer and a smart person when I admired Indiana Jones.

I was influenced, just like everyone around me. It is debatable now is it a good or a bad thing, but for me not one dream stayed. Since I started meditating, it is like all illusions I had started to fall apart. It caused for some greatly confused moments where I felt as lost as Lassie on its way home.

In high school we were asked what we would like to be. What would we want to study? I thought I had some idea at the beginning, maybe art school or movie school, but as time passed, such thoughts lessened for I couldn’t see myself in not one role for certain. I couldn’t say anymore – I wanted to be a movie director. Because, I realised I wasn’t made to be stuck in one role in life. I didn’t want that. Life doesn’t work that way. It is much too unpredictable to make plans and follow the protocol of the system and have it all go by the rules.

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And the system? The system is terrible! Just look at it objectively. A child before school will not stop asking you questions about life. Everything he or she sees will find new and curious. They are full of energy and life. Yet, as the school starts and demands to follow the book, you shall see that joy of learning lessening and a struggle beginning. Slowly, that child will lose joy for learning, lose curiosity and will be criticised if it dreams too much or lives in its own world. If it can’t stand still, it will be diagnosed with ADHD and given pills. How is that normal? Children have lots of energy, it is normal, something that should be understood and let be, not trying to be fixed so that it can be just as everybody else. God forbid, a child tries to think on its own creatively and ask a teacher about it. Oh no, if it isn’t like that in the book it isn’t right. Nobody is made to sit still and repeat what it is written in the book, we were made for running and breathing and exploring on foot, living with nature, not amongst concrete walls.

And then that child grows. Becomes an adult that is now allowed to think on its own, but only slightly. Because, you still have to listen to your boss and to your government. You mustn’t question their orders, no matter how absurd they might seem. And to distract you from thinking too much about their actions, you are given an Iphone, a tv filled with movies and tv shows that project the same program you are living and mustn’t stray from. And if you get bored with them, don’t worry, every few months something new will come to distract you. A new fashion season that you absolutely must have, or a new computer model that you can’t live without. Don’t forget that new game that comes out this fall! Or a new app that is to die for. You must be In because it is so important to follow the trends displayed to you.

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And no matter how miserable it might make you, how depressed, they won’t bother to do anything and shall diagnose it with middle-age crisis and thousands of others names instead of telling the truth. The life style offered to use makes us unhappy because it isn’t normal to go to the work that you don’t like, to live on junk food that destroys your body and makes you sick with time, to feel stressed and unhappy and is given pills for that because that is an only solution.

And the jobs? They need accountants so they promise it as a secure job. But, nothing is secure in this world. Anybody who lived life will know that. You can’t plan ahead no matter how much you calculate. Because when you think you have it all figured out, the life will flip the board and make it a chaos in your head once again. And nobody is the same, yet we are all forced into a same shape of a person, same life-style, same way of learning and same way of living. And you won’t be able to fit in it, not completely. And because of that, of trying to be something that isn’t you, but a programme put in your head that it must be so, you shall start to feel depressed, alone, confused and genuinely unhappy and you shall start to lash out in some way.

I learned that every dream I had about what person I could be isn’t something I truly wanted. If tomorrow someone offers me to be a movie star, I wouldn’t turn it down, but it wouldn’t be something that I would fight tooth and nail to get to be. Not one of those shapes of lifestyle offered to us I find desirable. Because I realised that not one of those lifestyles really gives you freedom. You have to let life decide, you have to be adjustable and agreeable with a strange flow of life because you can’t fight against it.

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You, every one of you, tried to be exactly as shown in a movie or a tv show or a book and guess what, not one of you felt a true satisfaction at being that perfect illusion and you aren’t here to be perfect copies of some commercial. Because, tell me honestly, are you truly happy with your life? With your job, with your mind, with your knowledge, with the way you lead your life, with your success, with your family? And is all that as perfect as it is in a movie?

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Tell me something. If you had a choice to do whatever you want in life and nobody demands anything of you, would you really go to college and have a stressful and sleepless lifestyle while attending it? Would you really wish for a secure job? Would you really want that large tv screen if it wasn’t shown in a commercial as a must have? I bet you wouldn’t. But, we are told again and again that it is how it must be so we start to believe it. I know what most people think when they read this “This one dreams too much, thinks life should be a fairytale. Wake up and get a job, stop wasting out time.”

Guess what, you are wasting your life to go to a job that makes you miserable so you can pay the bills so that you can go to work. Is that really a point of your life? To survive and then die like little soldiers that nobody will remember in the end?

If I am going to be become something I shall become it because life took me down that road, opened me that doors. I will make my life and I will trust life to take me where I need to go. Because I will arrive there either way, better go willingly.

I do not wish to be another individual in the crowd that comes from work and bemoans her job and her boss then get up again and go to work to the same thing all over again. Why are we doing that? If we are unhappy with this type of life being led, why do we help keeping it alive? Why are we so fanatic about the system collapsing when the system wasn’t even that good in the beginning?

More and more, I am astonished at how this life works and more and more I wish to find alternative to another life, one that I can be proud of living and say that I don’t regret not one day, good or bad.

I would like to hear your thoughts? Do you find some truth in all this or do you think I am wrong? What would you do if failure wasn’t an option and speak from the heart, not a programme you saw on a tv.

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Elly