In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Always Something There to Remind Me.”


{Music. Maitre Gims – Bella}

He sees her across the lavish restaurant. The music is live and guitar can be heard clearly amongst the other instruments and singing voices. Her skin is glowing under the lights, her hair waves of chocolate and her eyes big and light, enchanting when they meet his across the room.


She moves like she is made of air and water, all smooth moves and light steps, graceful in her approach. His heart stutters when she smiles, enchanting him even more.


He doesn’t remember how they meet, so pulled in her green eyes with speckles of gold he was. He doesn’t remember what he said, only her laugh, loud and honest. It sounds even sweeter later, when she laughs low against his ear as he holds her.


He knew that they are dancing in the moments that come. He is never more grateful for having learned all the dances as the stumbling, young boy. Now, he is grateful he is no longer clumsy, so that he may follow this beauty with a grace of a swan across the dance room and reflecting lights.


She was truly beautiful, with her smoky eyed make-up, lips painted red, enhancing the fullness of them and the whiteness of her teeth. Her hair done in perfect curls as they tumbled down her open back and mocca-colored skin sprinkled lightly with a perfume he came to associate with her.


He thinks he loved her at the sight. He thinks it is possible. Even before he knew her little quirks and secrets. Even before he knew that she only loved apple pie as a dessert and refused any other sweets. That she loved spicy food and enjoyed the various cultures. That she loved to travel in a summer, but in winter liked to stay curled in her home. That she had six different laughs and he was still counting. Before he knew how beautiful she looked after taking the shower, all clean and fresh, natural in her grace and bare as she laid before him.


He loved her since the first time he seen her and he never forgets how fitting the music accompanying their first gaze was.


He thinks how lucky he is that she accepts him so, even his quiet demur where he smiles at her whenever she enters the room, but doesn’t know how to express his admiration and love so well in words as she does. But, he thinks that’s alright, because she always smiles with warmth in her eyes, making them shine when he leaves roses for her, makes her dinner or kisses her good morning. He thinks action is just as telling as words, if not more.


He thinks that she is his Bella and he is finally breathing life since he met her.

It was just too sweet not to write though since I didn’t have a radio nor my set of headphones with me, I had to relay on my playlist on my phone and shuffle it. This came up and immediately the idea formed. Hope you like it.

Song is Maitre Gims – Bella if you missed the link at the beginning.





A reminder of what we have

{Music. Ludovico Einaudi – Walk}

Air and water,

Fire and earth

Did you know that at the start of alchemy and thoughts about what the earth was made of, they thought that every element was made by the four of those. Each object was made of different combinations of four main, basic elements. Today, we know that every object is made of thousands elements and thus, the endless possibilities in our minds expanded to never-ending.

Gold and silver,

Diamonds and metals

So many elements there are, so many things that once you pay attention, you find magical and mystical in its appearance and its existence.

Mud – created from water and earth. Full of potential to help and heal.

Dust – air and earth in its beauty dances under the reflector of sun light, carrying secrets we have yet to interpret and understand.

Fog – fire and water, hiding and finding things, making everything look like the time of witching hour.

Molten lava – earth and fire, making fiery accessories across the surface of the Earth, slow and relentless, it shows how some things may come slow, but they will come, steadily and surely just like anything you do.

Stranger things did happen when air and fire collided, the power it could cause, so simple and light separated, they became a force to reckon once united.

Isn’t life beautiful in it never-ending circle or growth, creation, living and then gracefully dieing before being reborn in a new shape and joy? Sounds kinda romantic for just basic every day things, but I thinks that where the secret of life actually is. In finding the beauty over and over again in things you thought you see every day, but are different with every second.

Thoughts and free time can do wonders for your blog, you know. Just a little bit of something for all of you lovelies out there, finding time to click on this post.



A golden coin

{Music. Kygo – Firestone (& others)}

For a while, I had thoughts tumbling though my head of action and reaction. Everything you do kinda get’s back at you, and everything you do also affects others in different ways. Like waves in the oceans who glide and slide, overlap and emerge in a dance as they follow one another without a thought or conscious decision. You start one thing and it leads to a completely unexpected development. It inspired this little story here.

An older gentleman was walking down the square littered with stands filled with fresh vegetables and fruits. He came to buy his wife a bouquet of flowers as he did every Sunday for past 28 years. White lilacs, he chosen for today and wore them proudly in the crook of his arm, with a content smile on his face.

Passing a corner, he saw an elderly woman sitting on a floor, face creased in frowns and hand stretched out in an endless plea. Feeling specially inclined on that fine day, he took out a shiny golden coin and one lilac flower and gave them to the old woman with a smile peaking from his trimmed and shaped mustaches. His arm felt lighter without a large, bubbling lilac head and heart lighting up at the look of wonder and joy spreading through woman’s face making it for a slip of the second look young and child-like again, as the hooded eyes opened up in wonder, smile revealing a few missing teeth and forehead smoothing out from its saddened life struggles.

The golden coin twinkled through the leathery fingers. The gentleman tipped his hat and left. The flower withered away in a slip of the time. The coin travelled in a pocket of a dress until the woman felt hunger beyond tell and gave it in exchange of a hot meal and good night’s sleep.

The young, pimply out-of-school man slipped it in his pocket instead of the cash register. He took it home and played with it under the light’s lamp, admiring its unique shine, deciding one day he will have millions of coins like this starting immediately. The next day, as he hurried to work with new determination and plan, pushing through the hordes of people and city yells and shouts, the coin silently slipped from his pocket and flew through air in a graceful, but unseen arch and scattered around the feet of hurrying people. It finally settled once the morning rush subdued and in sudden calmness it’s light attracted a young woman’s eye. She picked it up and decided it is a sign. You see, that day she had a job interview that she wasn’t sure she wanted to even go to, purely for the reason of thinking she wasn’t adequate enough. The lucky coin gave her a sign to not, after all, change her mind and call her friend to spend the day moaning and whining away.

She shouldered her bag full with her art and portfolio and headed to a new possibility. She twisted and turned the lucky coin in her palm through the whole thing and when three days later, she got a phone call that she is accepted, kissed the coin and run down to the fountain at the small square on which her balcony looked over. With a wide smile she flicked it in the air and watched its descend into the clear water surrounded by marble and wished it to bring luck to somebody just as it did to her.

The coin happily shined along with others numberless coins at the bottom of the fountain.

Seconds or hours later, curious boy leaned over the edge and spied the golden coin. When his mother wasn’t looking, quickly as a kitten, he reached out and took it, mindful to take no other. Raising it towards the sky, his eyes sparkled at finding such treasure just like all those pirates did in stories his mama read him. He took it home with him, inspecting it every now and then, caressing the smooth flat surface with small engravement of a butterfly and caterpillar on the other.

It stayed with him until one day, a boy’s mother refused to buy him a new toy. Defiant ad angry at a such an abrupt and unexpected rejection, he stepped up to the counter, laying the toy and the coin with an angry pout. The cashier raised its eyebrows, but inspecting the coin, approved and wrapped the toy much to the child’s delight and mother’s confusion.

The coin shortly lived in a darkness of the register for the other time it opened, it was taken out for an exchange of a largely quota bill and given to smiling old grandma and was put in a small purse.

The old grandma had a granddaughter who she loved dearly and always gave her something at the end of her visit.

This visit she set her down and started her flow of wise and gentle words.

“My dear, whatever you do, do it with kindness and honest heart. Wherever you go, bring joy rather than sorrow. Accept change for it walks hand in hand with both life and death and it is their best friend. Learning is a gift to appreciate and sharing is a way of love. Love is a jewel when found demanding to be nourished and cherished with beautiful thoughts and small joys, not smothered by petty jealousies and resentments. Be strong, kind and positive for than beauty will fall through your eyes and your heart will heal others. Whatever you do, do it your best, even if you don’t like it. Wherever you go, go with open heart and understanding mind. Those, child, are the secrets to a wonderful life. And this is to remind you of that every day until it is engraved in foundations of your life.”, and she took the coin out and gave it to the young granddaughter with a smile. “My dear, love is all we got and a smile never hurted anybody.”

What if we all had a small coin that gleaned and reminded us of a joy that life can be?

With love and coins,



Evil is not born, it’s made

I know it’s been long and there are no excuses, but life is strange and unpredictable and takes you in directions you didn’t plan to have, destroying your plans and side tracking your ways. Hopefully, the wind will blow more into the direction of blogging than it did this past few days.

{Music. Palladio by Escala}


Lately, I have been examining changes that happen to us as we live. Soon I will turn twenty which I still marvel since I feel like a child and not an adult. Someone who should stay eighteen for a while not search for life decisions and tumble them in her head.

That matter aside and put for another time and post, it was pointed out to me that I lack a certain perception of how rare naivety and innocence in people is and how that might screw me later in life, something about always seeing the best in people first. I failed to point out to that person that I rarely get involved deep enough in any human interaction for them to create a mess in my head. That is to say, I rarely pay enough time and attention for other’s to have any leverage over me in such way.

But, it got me thinking about it. About life and how, with time, in a certain way, innocence is beaten out of us and we build a harsh armor that later we adopt in out personality. When a person smiles at you, it is natural to smile back. When someone looks at you with warmth in their eyes, it normal to melt a little in return. Yet, many of us kinda drove that natural reaction out of the door and invited the cold, calculative ways in our hearts which causes suspicion and ‘what does this person want’ reaction to someone’s unexpected smile and delight at having someone at back and call when you see how much someone wish to be in your company.

I watched my cousin the other day (he is eight) and in matters of minutes he met with other children and was running around, playing. By the end of the night, the kids were best friends, wrapped around each other and easily sharing hugs and laughs. So easy and simple, as life should be. But, we don’t do that, do we? Somewhere, somehow, in our transaction from a child to adult we were taught by others that there are demons in people rather than in te shadows of the night. And in fear, we prepared for battles that many never even came. We convince ourself it is alright to cheat and lie because everybody does that. to manipulate and twist because why not? And if you don’t do it, certainly someone will try to do that to you. quote1

I found that some people basically create chaos and problems from nothing and kinda force others to deal with it as well, as they adopt the role of being a victim. I have no answer as to why do they do it, but I’ve seen too many of them doing harmful things to others just because they can, because it makes them feel better, makes them feel something. And I don’t believe that such needs were born with them, but learned as they know it will get them the necessary attention they crave. quote5

No one thinks of the destruction they are causing and how they basically stop life. In the end, the best way to lose innocence and connection to life is to go against it. Many of us believe we are forced to become something harsh to survive in the world. Most of us lose it on purpose. But you don’t have to lose it so that you can survive the big bad human drama. you only need to be smarter and wiser in choosing your battles and people around you. And if life surprises you unexpectedly with catastrophy than find a way to preserve a spark of a child, not killing it further in desire to survive.

I find that naivety is a natural reaction to anything. And those who calls you naive in a bad sense have already lost it and haven’t found anything better to replace it with. In the end, anger and resentment tears you apart the most, not anybody else. The isolation and hatefulness creates more chaos than good and it brings nothing useful in your life. The judgment and criticism kills you more than you can imagine and people who cristise other’s criticises themselves the most. Imagine how empty their life is when make-up and masks comes off. qqqqqq

What I wanted to say is that, the armor everybody wishes on us doesn’t do any good in the end. If you wear it, it may protect your heart for a while, but it also kills it in the same time. And what is left of it just shapes into a parody of it causing even more harm to yourself and others.

Life is too short to be spent fighting instead of living. There are monsters in the world. But, there is also a small monster in every one of us – a fighter, a dark side capable of unexpected things. But it all depends on how much we let it take over and forget the other side of us, as well. Life is all about balance. And lately, people live extremely unbalanced life, focusing on one aspects and completely forgetting yin’s to yang’s. Focus on jobs, looks, sexuality, popularity, surviving and forgetting to explore, learn, be, love, living. I try to remember that every day. Question is how many people are even aware of such thoughts? quote7

Staring once again in this weird Wonderland

{Music. Epic music}


I know I haven’t been keeping my blog as I imagined. Shameful, I am aware. But, I wish to start again, to share. One of the reasons why I haven’t posted anything is because I got lost in my head considering the question, what on earth can I share that might be so important for others to read? Why bother? But than today I thought, nothing came from not bothering anyways. What can you lose in the end? I will either listen to music or write a post, it is not like I am going to do anything really productive either way, so here I am again.

Many changes happened lately though I didn’t expect them or planned them. I started working at a small theater as a volunteer to see if I am interested in that kind of lifestyle. Turns out I would love to try to be a director. I like how things are dictated and how you decided where everything goes. Your design coming to life the way you want it. So, it seems that I finally have some sense of where I would like to go down the end of this rabbit hole. For now, I am first learning everything that I can.

I also dyed my hair pink.

medarlingIt washed off mostly by now since it is not a permanent paint, but it was so nice to see it like that, to stand out even though people stare. It showed me something, something that I used to hide a lot as a teen because you don’t want to be mocked at, but now who gives a damn? I certainly just want to live my wonderland dream. I started realising how much I am bored by the same old mundane things that I have been seeing my whole life. I couldn’t look at the long dark, blond hair anymore no matter how pretty it may be to others. For me it was boring, seen already on countless other heads. So, I bought the paint and colored the bathroom pink and purple along with the water that ran down the drain. I felt like I was discovering myself anew. It is almost seems that the moment you were born you forgot who you really are in this life and as you grow, you start finding yourself piece by piece. I am not saying I will have pink hair for the rest of my life. It damages hair way too much for my comfort (especially long hair), but simply what she represents is what makes her important. Something vibrant, something different, new, unusual. Something that stands out. Something that I see in myself and that now I want others to start to see as well – my style.

Also, with that I realised how much I silently cried out for new things, new experiences, new people. Travelling, I discovered, is the answer. I am finishing a course of graphic design in the June and then I am hopefully off to see the world on my own. I am taking you all with me, to see how much I can survive with only a smart phone, clothes and some money in my pocket.

They say such experiences changes you, makes you realise all that you can be and do. I wish to see that in myself, to experience that change and find that knowledge.

I hope you are all finding new things about you every day. Wouldn’t it be great if we, like children, are carefree and our soul purpose is enjoying and learning life every single day whatever may it be?

This, I suppose is just a small entry at the start of the new chapter.

Lots of love


Love is all you got

{Music. Lisa Mitchell – Neopolitan Dreams (Niklas Ibach Remix)}

People fall in love so easily. It is in our nature to love and to connect with others around us, to care and be part of the group. It is obvious by our customs and way we live that we want love, yet we rarely truly love. We set boundaries for ourselves and expectations for other people to meet them and we kill the love we feel at the start simply because we don’t accept it as it is, but demand something else from it, something that is only in our minds.

If we truly let ourselves go, we would fall in love in an instant. We would fall in love at the bright, blue sky filled with soaring birds over and over again and our heart would sing with joy at the sight of a sunrise and sunset every time we encountered its rays of light. Falling in love is easy as it is breathing. It comes natural and fills us up with a natural flow of nature and universe. Loving is part of us. It is easier for us to simply love than to learn how to hate you. A smile can make you love; years of pain and anger makes you hate – the difference is clear.


A problem with society is that it shows us false beliefs about love that we take and stick to and teaches how to fear and not how to love. The false beliefs we learn come mostly from romantic books and movies that we so devour. We all want love, yet you don’t need to acquire it as we are told to do. It is not waiting for us in Paris or in someone special. It is in you and you just need to love. Love yourself first, love your life first, love people around you and you shall see how it spreads out in a beautiful swirl of joy. Have you noticed you can’t define love? Or falling in love? We try by saying he fell in love with her eyes or she fell in love at his kind nature. Because she can dance or because he can be unexpectedly romantic. Because of this or that, but what may work for one person to feel love doesn’t mean it will work for the other. Some girls wants flowers, some girls want a leather jacket and motorcycle ride. Some guys want a romantic dinner, others want a laid back evening on a couch in sweatpants.

The point is that everybody is different yet we all want love. Love will express itself in everybody differently. You can’t define love, you can only feel it and keep it safe. And when I say keeping it safe, I mean not let your expectations stop your from simply feeling and enjoying yourself no matter of the boundaries other throw at you. Just because someone isn’t as tall as you want or doesn’t texts you “Good morning” and “Good night” or doesn’t surprise you with a cooked dinner, doesn’t mean love isn’t there. Or is younger or older or isn’t someone your friends or people around you approve. Love isn’t checking things off from the list, it just is and you can accept it and enjoy it or you can ignore it and feel frustrated and unhappy at the end of the day. Real love is easy and doesn’t put us in any stereotypical shape that we so lean towards. When we truly let go than we truly love. We don’t put expectations on ourselves or on others. No one is required to meet your expectations and you are not required to meet any of theirs.

The one who loves unconditionally is lucky and reaches the true bliss, not the one that is loved. It is love that we ourselves experience which makes us children at heart again, happy and fulfilled, seeing life with vibrant colors and beautiful sounds.

Remember, you are the one that invokes the light through your eyesight, the one who decided is it hot or cold for you, too much or not enough. The reality just is and it changes in our perception and our choice at how to perceive it. That is our free will. We are free to see the world however we chose to and we have to power to change that view anytime we want. How will you perceive the world around you depends on you what you feel and how you think.

{Music. Hozier – Take me to Church}    buuuu1

If you feel love and see new opportunities and find creative way to achieve something, life will be much more beautiful, filled with bliss and feeling content. If you feel fear and judge everything and everyone, a negative comment coming faster to your lips than does the positive one, your world will be bleaker, less magical and much more dull, almost a misery to live.

I wish you best of luck in simply loving and getting rid of any judgments our brain is programmed to bring up and to experience the life to its fullest which goes beyond just a paid job and a roof over your head.

With lots of love


Gossips and hopes of wisdom

{Music. Parov Stelar – Coco}

you are

Knowledge expands your horizons. It changes the way you think, the way you see, the way you process. It is useful, helpful and enlightening. Yet, we are not taught to see or to understand. So many things, we are thought to ignore, to focus on unnecessary things. Has anyone noticed that you were silently aware of some things, but until someone sits you down and explain it to you in clear word, you don’t see it? I guess that is the main proof we only bother to use barely five percent of our brain.

I guess I was pretty naive as a child. I wasn’t so many around kids as I was around cartoons and toys. My parents friends often were people who travelled or seemed to be from another time, the time that was discussed deeper side of politics, art, philosophy, music, things that fueled a child’s imagination to unimaginable heights. I found it wonderful when they said to quote Shakespeare or said Socrates teachings. I wished to grow up, learn it all so I can discuss that, as well. Child’s imagination.


As I said, people have a superpower of ignoring things they don’t want to face. So, I ignored many things, putting things in my perception until people and situations fitted it.

There are many stuff that I could discuss from that, but one thing I want to focus on is that became a bit clearer to me a few days ago, but I thought about for years on end. As a child I naively thought that only kids gossiped. Ridiculous, I know, but true nevertheless. And the reason for that in head was that children gossiped about one another simply because they had nothing better to discuss. Of course they are going to laugh about how someone who fell down in front of the whole school rather than relish in the wisdom of Aristotle because they simply didn’t know better. And, for a while, that explanation worked perfectly for me. At the time, I wasn’t so much aware of it as I am today. It was one of those silent explanation that you have about something and that you only realize later on when time has passed and you can see more clearly. You truly understand yourself and your actions more when something passed and not when you are in midst of it.


I found myself lonely back then because I desired for someone with whom I could share more than just what happened on Friday and who went to cinema with whom (to be clear, it was middle school so teenage stuff was just starting to reel its head). So, I turned to books. So many wonderful stories and so much to learn from them. I turned to movies and found magic created behind a glass surface, just a touch away. Turned towards my imagination and stories about Jesus. About his words of love and care and forgiveness towards everyone. Of course, once you discover how hypocritical people can be, especially in religions, those who claim that are virtues and yet are no better, the idea of standing besides them and listen to them turned very unappealing.

But, growth means learning and it was the change that shocked me as it happened. The first dream was shattered when I opened my eyes and ears and realised that grown people gossiped just as much as kids and about the same thing. Only difference was they could drink coffee, smoke cigarettes and say curse words freely. I felt so disappointed because all my dreams of being a sophisticated lady and discussing great words, were dashed away.


Than, another shock came when I realised how much my parents gossiped, as well. To be clear, they didn’t sound the same as the kids around me and my ability to ignore things that didn’t fit in the way that I saw things kicked in to protect my dreams about them. After accepting all that, I started to wonder more and more why people gossiped so much. One thing is to be a social person and to share stories. It is another to put another person down so that you can feel better about yourself. Because, let’s face it. That is the reason behind all that habit of gossiping. If someone screwed up more than you or the way they live life is decided to be worse than yours, you feel better about yourself and your way of living. We wouldn’t actually be happy if everybody was content and perfect, not with this current mindset. And we are taught to have this mindset. What else is the magazines and tv talk shows and dozens of other things, than a global gossip network that teaches us how to act and what to talk about? And most often than not, they have a nasty thing to say about someone rather than a good one.

{Music. The Neighbourhood – Alleyways}

Constant negativity and nastiness is tiring for me. And what is worse, it is hard to meet positive people. Truly positive ones that are realistic, but don’t immediately jump on what could go wrong than rather think about how could it be good. I want to be positive and I try not to be pulled into depressive, monotone way of living that so many live by, but it is not easy to resist the habit and the majority. So many people prefer to be a victim rather than a master of its fate. I am trying to learn to take the control back, to learn a new way rather than just blame everyone around me and mope in misery and say how everybody is terrible to me. They are not. Cuz, their thoughts and words don’t control or define me yet we all act as if they do. And we act as if our opinion is going to change somebody.


I wish to sit with someone and not talk about anybody else or have them complain about that or another because everybody knows that those problems will not be half as important a year from now on and instead just share funny stories or thoughts and laugh at silliness and feel better about life rather than worse. I had that with maybe, three persons, at most in my whole life. Two people with whom that happened on more than one occasion and it was wonderful to experience and have.

{Music. Jetta – I’d Love to Change the World}

I wonder if you today had a good laugh and felt better or groaned and started talking how somebody did something that annoyed you so much. What makes you feel better, in the end? Do you want to look back at your life and realize you spent it discussing about someone and something that nobody made feel better or taught you anything. A waste of time and as such, a waste of life.

I feel lucky and blessed when I can find someone to talk about things that genuinly interest me and that aren’t connected to discussing someone elses way of life. I think I feel better now in my life. I am starting to realize things and it requires change because, as I said, when you learn something new, it will change things, and I am trying to make the best of it. Trying to make a path that doesn’t follow the same mainstream of everybody else. And, I suppose both you and I will see how it goes.

Maybe this was inspiring to you and if so, I am glad. If not, well, too bad.

Lots of love,


P.S. I dare you to buy a flower and give it to someone who you gossip about the most on your coffee breaks and see how it goes.

healthy mind